So, the time has come for me to leave Jakarta. It's been great, ridiculously busy and stressful but I think I will remember my time here fondly in the years to come. I've had so much to talk about over the last week, but I've been working 12 hour days most days so I've had hardly any time at all to write a blog post worthy of it all. It's likely this is going to be another mega-post by the time I finish, so grab a beverage and get comfy.
Where to start? Jakarta has been a massive eye-opener for me as to how it feels to be an ethnic minority - walking amongst the native peoples of Jakarta but most definitely not feeling like one of them. Don't get me wrong, people are VERY polite here and make you feel very comfortable. However, you are one of the few white faces - often I would only see one or two other white people in a whole day, which sounds a bit obvious but when you've only visited countries in the past with a massive white majority, this is a rather strange turn of events.
I was also convinced at one point I was basically the source of amusement amongst some of the security guards that I passed during my daily commute, the pompous "bule" (whitey). Understandable that there would be resentment of white people here after how brutal the dutch where during the colonial rule of Jakarta, but still shocking to come across it first hand. I will definitely have a better understanding of the kind of shit the asian communities of Glasgow have to put up with as a result of this trip.
Another more direct, worrying instance of targeting a "bule" was when I was led into a fake taxi. The taxi seemed legit from the outside and the hotel guard didn't seem too concerned by it, but I knew within under a minute I was about to get screwed. After telling the taxi driver where I wanted to go, he asked me if I spoke any Indonesian. Still a little shaky with my basic Indonesian, I tried "Saya batak bisa bicara bahasa Indonesia". The taxi driver continued to rattle off some more Indonesian I didn't understand then started trying to sign things to me. Eventually I caught the gist - he was demanding 50000 rupiah (2.5 GBP roughly) for the taxi fare instead of what it should have been, around 15000 rupiah. Once I figured it out I started to get a little scared, because typically they take your money then dump you in the middle of fucking nowhere in a Jakartan slum where you will likely end up getting extorted for everything you have (I've heard stories of being taken to mosques in such places and all your possessions taken off you in return for your life). So, I called Irwan and explained the situation, and he asked to speak to the taxi driver. I heard him shouting down the phone to the cab driver for a couple of minutes then the cab driver handed the phone back. Irwan said "just give him the money, he'll take you where you're going". I have to say I have been significantly more wary of the taxis after that.
I've been to a couple of the big shopping malls here in Jakarta at the weekends: Plaza Indonesia, Senayan City and Ratu Plaza. Plaza indonesia is probably the most opulent shopping mall I have ever been in - pretty much the only shops in there are very exclusive designer names for clothes and jewellery (bulgari, tiffany and co, tag heuer, hugo boss, etc). Looking in the window of tiffany and co, they were selling diamond and ruby jewellery at prices of 10000 USD and up. Most of the other shops were the same - easily everything over 100 USD.
Senayan City rivals Plaza Indonesia for similar designer goods but they also have much more reasonable shops. As a comparison, if you take the Braehead shopping mall in Glasgow and were to stack 6 of those, one on top of the other, you have an idea of the size of Senayan City. It's fucking MASSIVE.


On the 5th floor there is a huge electronics shop that has the widest array of plasma and LCD TVs I have ever seen - they also had the world's biggest consumer plasma TV, at a whopping 103in. Seriously, the viewable area of this TV is almost the same height as me (6ft). There isn't even a chance in hell it would fit in my living room back home. For the slightly less insane (the 103in TV wasn't for sale, but if it was my guess is that it would cost over 30000 GBP).

Senayan City also has a Krispy Kreme, which made me a very happy man. I haven't had any Krispy Kreme donuts since I was 16, so this was a big blast from the past.

Ratu Plaza is basically just another shopping mall, but with a high concentration of PC and laptop shops. It also has an awesome pirate emporium, that reminds me of the Barras in Glasgow during the Golden Age of Amiga piracy. DVD9 versions of just-released movies for 7000 rupiah? Even the MPAA execs couldn't say no to that :)
I bought a Black MacBook in Ratu Plaza while I was there, which is what I'm typing this post on. It's awesome, a really nice little laptop and I'm growing to love Mac OS X. It has a few things that are annoying me, but I'm sure there are ways of doing what I want and I just don't know enough about it yet.
While I've been here I've spotted a few examples of "Engrish", which have had me in stitches. Unfortunately I've not been able to photograph them all as some have been on billboards on the faster moving roads. However, here are two I did manage to capture:

Pocari Sweat. Yes, it's an actual drink here, and quite a popular one. I thought it was bottled water at first, but apparently it has a flavour something close to cream soda. I never tried the stuff - I guess I couldn't get the word "sweat" out of my head in relation to a liquid. It's hard to make out from the photo, but it's also an "Ion Supply Drink". Mmmmm, gotta love those ions!

I'll have a generic salad please! This was from the menu in the bar in Le Meridien. I got a few funny looks when I laughed uproariously at that.
Last night, Paul recommended that we go to Tiga Puluh, the club in the basement of the hotel so I could get some experience of the Jakartan Nightlife. For those not in the know, basically all the posh clubs like Tiga Puluh are packed with beautiful Indonesian and Asian women. Thing is, they're all hookers. Really. There is also a very strange etiquette regarding this too - if you are a bule (a whitey) and catch their eye (which is very easy, given you're surrounded by them) this is taken as interest, and they will stare intensely back at you. They will then proceed to walk up to you, do some seductive dancing with other hookers nearby. After doing this for a bit, they will probably walk up behind you and pinch your shirt and say something like "malam" (evening). At that point, if you turn round and talk to them basically you've just signed yourself up for a night of action. If you just ignore them (and they will hang around for at least 5 minutes, staring at the back of your head) they will eventually get the point and walk away.
So, I got some first hand experience of this at Tiga Puluh (the etiquette part, not the action part). Hilariously, after absorbing enough of the atmosphere in Tiga Puluh and starting to get a little worried I was about to be ambushed by 5 ladies of the night dancing to my right (two white guys, one in his 20s and one with grey hair, basically says to them "retirement fund") we retreated to the lounge. We were drinking there for another while, with some other party girls still showing interest and sitting next to us (mirrored walls in the lounge make avoiding eye contact VERY hard). Hilariously at one point I disappeared to the toilet for no more than about 2 minutes to come back and find paul getting chatted up. The look of desperation, followed by relief on his face as I came back to the lounge, was enough to keep me laughing into my beer for the rest of the night.
I'm running out of steam now, so time for a wrap-up. This is an awesome city, they have some real problems with traffic and polution but it is a very vibrant place and is definitely on the way up. I hope to be able to visit again.
My next post will be from SINGAPORE, BABY!